I graduated with a diploma last year. I did well enough to qualify to further my education at the government-funded universities. I applied Business as well as humanities such as History, Sociology because my points have met the entry requirements. Thinking that I would definitively secure a place in my favourite course, I was so happy.
However, when the rejection letter came two months later, I could not help but to feel sad and even cried out. My mother and I simply could not understand why I cannot secure a place in the university even though my points are much much more higher than the entry requirements.
I had no choice but to ask my polytechnic lecture for help. He advised me to appeal courses related to my diploma. The reason why I did not apply for university courses relating to my diploma is because I hate what I have studied which is IT. I never understand programming so do my classmates. But luckily my diploma is not strictly on programming and my lecturers are kind enough to pass us every time.
My mother asked me to appeal computer sciences and Information Systems management even though I have told her that I hate IT and I can never do programming. She insisted me on appealing and the universities might not even offer me a place. I then thought why not appeal and test my standard.
Weeks later, the first offer letter came. I read and read and saw the words “computer science”. I could not sleep that night though my father said that I could finally sleep as an university has finally accepted me. That night, I kept thinking if I should accept the offer anot. I predicted myself not able to sleep once the school start as I could not compile my project and kept on finding bugs in my project. I have hear many people saying computer science is not easy.
A week later, another university called me up for an interview. I went for the interview and was offered a place too. Again, I spend the time awake, reading the course structure and analyzing the differences between the two courses offered to me.
Eventually, I decided to accept Information system management. Because, there is less programming modules and 50% of the course structure are related to Business.
However, I was not happy after accepting the offer. My mother managed to obtain year 1 notes for me. I spend every day doing programming but whenever I could not solve it, I would became angry with myself for choosing a course that I do not like at all. I blamed the world for being unfair to me. I have worked so hard in polytechnic so that I could apply a course that I like but I still could not do it. My friends did not score as well as me therefore they have applied for private institutions. I wanted to apply too but my mother refused me to do so as she felt that entering a government-funded is way better than going to private institutions as she was afraid that my future employees would not recognize my certificate.
I told my mother that I wanted to work instead of studying. She told me to enter the university and try out the course first. If I really hate the course, I could withdraw the course and work instead.
I entered the university and after a year, I have recently withdraw from the university. I failed a programming twice and thought it would be the best if I withdraw. I have applied for 3 Australian universities and they have accepted. My mother asked me to choose one and go over there to study. But, I could not make up my mind. The school fees are much more expensive and I am very tired. After failing a same module twice, I feel very useless and everyone in the university is super smart and I feel that I am very dumb. I am afraid of doing project work again as something terribly happened to me while doing one of the project. I don’t know why but I was getting more and more afraid of things ever since I entered the university a year ago.
Recently, one of my friends messaged me asking if she should quit school and work full time. She has found a job that pay quite well for a diploma graduate. I understand her feelings totally but I could not advise her too much. It is her future, she should choose the steps wisely and not by listening to me. The ultimate question is to work or to study? Any advise?